Category Archives: Family Worship

Children, Christian Living, Family Worship

Tips for Family Worship

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Christian parents, practice family worship, family devotions, or whatever it is that you would like to call it. There is an urgency to the responsibility of parents. And one of the things parents must take most seriously is the call to teach their children the word of God.

“Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” (Ephesians 6:4)

I recognize the text says, “Fathers…” but this article is written in the context of the proliferation of divorce and single parent families. And in the homes where the father is not present or is neglecting his duty, the responsibility to fulfill this task falls to the mother or other primary care givers. So, to those who have been given responsibility to raise children, the Biblical mandate is that we are to be actively discipling them. There should be no expectation that you or your methods will be able to awaken the child’s heart, but it is good and right to plead with God that He would use your ministry to them in a saving way. And though this article will try to give some helps in the area of how family worship can be done, it is actually far more important that family worship is done.

Learning the skill of leading family worship is done “on the job.” If I can assume agreement that discipling your children is a worthwhile enterprise and that parents are generally speaking trying to make it happen (albeit imperfectly and maybe inconsistently), let me encourage you. As family worship is practiced, it will become easier and more natural. Personal styles will be developed, children will get used it as a feature of their home, and wonderful conversations about important truths will be had. However, there will be days when efforts to gather the family will seem like they are not helping anyone at all. In that day of discouragement, do not yield to the voice that whispers, “Why bother?” Press on, because God entrusts the responsibility to teach His children to parents. They have the blessing of scattering seed that may not sprout or bear fruit until years after it is sown. Who knows how God waters the seeds parents sow. But there must be a commitment to regular Bible study with the family. What if that commitment is not there? Where it is lacking it should be taken up. And where that discipline is inconsistent, it should be practiced more regularly. It is part of your parental example to your children as you prepare them to leave your home.

Having said all that, the aim of this article is not to make the case for family worship. Rather it is meant to provide encouragement for parents who are in the middle of it. By providing a few helps, parents can be greatly encouraged in their pursuit of teaching and applying God’s word in the lives of their children. So what are some things you can do to help family worship?

Make an appointment. In my experience family worship is most faithfully done when there is a regular set time for it. Most people are not likely to skip appointments. However, it has been my experience that people who set out to do family worship “when they get to it” struggle more with actually doing it. There are lots of opportunities for informal discussions about the things of the Lord throughout the day. And these are wonderful and good. But in these moments, an issue arises, either positive or negative, and parent either praises or corrects. However, the getting together, opening the Bible, and letting God’s word choose the topic happens best by setting aside a regular time. For some that will be waking the family first thing in the morning. For others it makes sense to schedule time right before bedtime. And others still take advantage of the family gathered for a meal. Whatever timing works best for your family, schedule a time.

Open the Bible and read it to your children. A person who trusts his profound lesson or great method will have missed the main reason for family worship: to teach God’s word to his children. The most important part of family worship is the clear, sincere, and eager reading of God’s word. Yes, the Word can and should be explained. Yes, how you engage your children matters. However, the key component to teaching children the Bible is…the Bible.

Consider the age of your children. One of the mistakes I made when I began family worship was expecting too much with my little kids when it came to family worship. Little kids are…little. Their attention spans are usually shorter and they lack the theological vocabulary that may have acquired in years of gradual study. For young children, keep the readings brief and focus on the accounts of Scripture. It is not wise to read devotionally to a three-year old from Calvin’s Institutes, or some other theological work. At the same time, as they mature, it is good and even necessary to have more significant conversations to find out if they have understood. It is important to explain and define significant theological terms. And when there are a variety of ages, these things will have to be held in balance. Do not simply teach to the lowest common denominator. Spend time addressing each group according to their age.

Do not overwhelm yourself with too much preparation. This tip may seem counter-intuitive. But it is a simple call to using time efficiently. There can be tremendous benefit to using what has already been studied. For example, thoughts that arise from personal devotions or rehearsing the message of the sermon preached the previous Lord’s Day are efficient uses of time. Certainly, there are seasons in which personal preparation for a certain study will greatly benefit the family. However, those who seek to reinvent the wheel each family worship lesson will be more prone to becoming wearied in the process. These will be more tempted to abandon the practice because they do not have the emotional energy to continue.

Include the children in the exercise. The goal of family worship is not just to have family worship. Rather it is to instill into children a knowledge of who God is and what duties He requires of His people. To that end, family worship should be highly interactive. Some examples:

    • Have the children read a part of the Scripture if they are able, even if it is just one verse.
    • Have them participate the prayer time, whether it be by asking for specific prayer requests, or if it is by having them offer their own prayer in turn.
    • Include singing if you can. For little ones sing “childish” Bible songs, even if you seem to sing it every night for one month. But also teach the songs most frequently sung in church services. For older ones, reinforce the songs of the saints and speak highly of them. If there are some family favorites that your local church does not sing, integrate them into family worship. If music is a struggle, have some good recorded music and singing available.
    • Ask questions of the children about what was read, and invite their questions. Answer them as you can but if you do not know the answer, admit it and tell them you will find the answer and get back to them. When you say that, you actually have to do it as well.

These suggestions are not the result of some scientific study or a careful survey. They come from about 27 years of practicing family worship in my home and time spent in pastoral ministry. Not all family worship will look the same. There will be variety based on each family’s personality. But family worship should be done as Christian parents seek to fulfill their biblical obligation to raise their children up in the knowledge of the Lord.

Bible, Children, Christian Living, Family Worship, Marriage, Parenting, Uncategorized, worship

Worship at Home

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father-son-1

This mini-series began by taking exception with the prevalent understanding of worship as that part of the church service in which we sing, or hear, moving and inspiring songs. But worship is the humbling of the creature before his Maker and Redeemer through faithful service to him as the only One deserving of such adoration. Because our worship is about the glory of God rather than our emotional experiences, worship is central in all of life. Last installment we looked at worship as it relates to the workplace. Today we will consider worship in our homes.

Family worship, is more complicated than workplace worship. We are usually not charged with the spiritual oversight of our co-workers or employees. Our worship in the workplace deals primarily with our expression of thanks to God in our daily employment. However, in our homes we are responsible for others. Parents are to raise their children “in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” (Eph. 6:4, ESV). Husbands are to sacrificially lead their wives toward purity “by the washing of water with the word,” (Eph. 5:26, ESV). Family worship is not an individual matter, but includes a corporate element.

This corporate aspect can create additional challenges, because man cannot change the heart of another person. Putting our confidence in a methodology shows a trusting of men to do the work he cannot do. Instead fathers must cultivate in themselves a trust and faithfulness toward God’s plan for family worship. He has not called you to profundity, and yet this is usually the cause of stumbling. Men often want to make spiritual leadership profound, and when they fail to do so, abandon the project in disappointment. But God does not call you to be profound. He simply calls you to be faithful.

That means that, in your role as father and husband, your most important task is to read and teach God’s word. Some rarely gifted individuals can make these lessons profound every time. However, what is more important is that your children hear the instruction of the Lord, which is found in the Bible. You are the prophet of your home, declaring: “Thus says the Lord…” and trusting that as the rain comes down from heaven, so shall God’s word not return void (Isaiah 55:10-11) but accomplish all that God purposes either for judgement or for mercy. The more you practice this discipline, the more familiar you will become with God’s promises and requirements, and the easier it will be to make applications to your own family. However, priority number one is to establish a habit of reading God’s word in your home.

Outside the home, attendance at the corporate worship services of your local congregation will also lead the souls in your family. Leading your family in sitting under the faithful preaching of the word will make a strong statement to your children. It says to your children, “The worship on God and the preaching of his word is the one thing our family will never neglect, no matter what everyone else may be doing.”

The reading of the word at home and the preaching of the word at church are not innovations given to us by man. They are instructions given by God to his people. To lead our families in worship, we must always be grounded not in our own profundity, but on the omniscient and good instructions that come to us from God himself in the Bible.

Bible, Children, Family Worship, Gospel, Man, Parenting, Sanctification

Vices and Virtues

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Chess

One important task carried out in Christian homes is family worship. Leading our families in the worship of God and study of his word is one of the main ways the Lord shapes for himself the next generation of his church. However, there are some ways we, as parents, can become unbalanced in our family worship. One way would be to constantly be setting the prohibitions of Scripture before our children. In this kind of family worship our children only know what they should not do. The accompanying confusion should neither surprise or please us. Another way we become unbalanced is to teach our children only one part of our redemption: justification. The grace of the gospel is a far greater blessing than simply God’s declaration of our righteousness. But if justification by faith alone through grace alone is all our children hear, they may fail to recognize the duties God requires of us as his children. There is a very simple way to avoid this mistake: teach your children the Bible’s vices and virtues.

When we teach our children about the vices of Scripture, we teach them of man’s sinful nature and depravity. For example, in the parable of the Pharisee and the tax collector in Luke 18:9-14, we can teach our children the vice of self-righteousness in the Pharisee. Then we help them see it in our own family. We confess our self-righteousness and show them theirs so they would recognize who they are: sinners in need of deliverance both from the guilt and dominion of sin. We should teach our children how they ought not to live. We should tell them: “Christians should not do these things because it displeases the Lord who bought us with a price.” However, to leave our teaching there may unnecessarily discourage our children because they see nothing of the grace of God. We must also teach them the virtues.

When we teach our children about the virtues of Scripture, we teach them of God’s grace. Going back again to the above-mentioned parable, we would hold out the humility of the tax collector as commendable. God is gracious not only to free us from the guilt of our sin, but also to free us from its dominion. We are no longer slaves to the pride of our own lives. He has given us hearts that are able to will and act according to his good pleasure (Cf. Phil. 2:13). The virtues of Scripture remind us that we have been set free: free to do all that which gives glory to God.

In our times of family worship, we should make sure our children recognize they are not okay as they are. We should help them see the depths of their sin. Then we can also help them to see the grace of God which equips them to change and live for the glory of God.

Bible, Children, Family Worship, Man, Parenting, Sanctification

Healthy Family Worship Habits

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prayer

Family worship is typically a source of much guilt for us. Not so much because of the content of what may be discussed, but rather in our neglect of it. We may read books about family worship, we may know what we are supposed to do in family worship, but we may still neglect the practice. Below are some ways family worship can become a habit in your family.

  1. Meditate often on the promises of Scripture. Family worship will be a painful chore if it does not flow from a deep love for God. A deep love for God flows from his deep love for us, summarized in his promises. So meditate on them so you would have joy in the Christian discipline of family worship.
  2. Have a plan. Without some kind of direction and purpose to your family worship, you will lack a clear message. This, in turn, will distract your children and cause you to be discouraged. And when you are discouraged…you will quit.
  3. Keep it simple. Sometimes we fathers are paralyzed by our desire to be profound. We want our family worship lesson to sound like our favorite celebrity pastor. There is a reason these men are well-known: they are uniquely gifted communicators. More significant than your infrequent profundity is your faithful daily reading of Scripture to your family. Stay within your range of gifts, and lead your family in the study of God’s pure words.
  4. Make it a routine. We live in a time when “routine” is a bad word. However, routine is very helpful in establishing habits. Choose a time when you will gather as a family to worship. In our family it has typically been around one of the family meals. Depending on our schedule for the semester, we will come together for family worship either around the breakfast or supper table. By choosing a regular time, you and your children will learn to expect the event, and miss it when it does not happen.
  5. Keep your material close at hand. If you have to rummage around your house to find your Bibles you have introduced a potential excuse. Keep all those things in a cupboard or drawer nearby. Do not tempt your own laziness by having your family worship materials in the next county.
  6. Be faithful in private worship. The strength of your family worship will only be as strong as your own commitment to the pursuit of God’s word. Deuteronomy 6:5-7 is the passage that is most often cited when it comes to our duty of family worship. That passage lays out a specific order. First the parent is to love God and his word. Then he is to pass it on to his children.

The word of God feeds our souls. For that reason we should be diligent to set it before our children daily. Make it a priority in your family starting today.

Belief about God, Bible, Children, Family Worship, Parenting, Sanctification

Family Worship Suggestions

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father-son-1

And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. (Deut. 6:6-7, ESV)

The obligation of Christian parents to pass on the truth of God’s word is clear in God’s word. The problem is, we do not have an exact “game plan” of what that may look like. Beyond bringing our children up in the “discipline and instruction of the Lord” (Eph. 6:4, ESV), how do we find the passage that gives us the checklist? Of course, no such list exists. Our task as parents is simply to set God’s promises and commands before our children so they might know who to love and how to love him (see Westminster Shorter Catechism #3). Below are some different ways we can teach our children diligently and raise them up in the instruction of the Lord:

  1. Catechisms. Catechisms, of course, do not replace the Bible, but summarize the teachings of the Bible. The Heidelberg Catechism or the Westminster Shorter Catechism help your children understand the basic categories of theology, keeping them from error in what they believe and how they live. G. I. Williamson has written very beneficial study guides for each which can help you lead your families through a study of the catechisms.
  2. Bible reading. You may choose to read one chapter per day from the Bible with our children. Read a chapter a day until you finish a book and then start another one. Make sure you choose both New Testament and Old Testament books. If you do this daily, you will have 365 chances each year to teach your children what you are learning as you study God’s word for yourself.
  3. Sermon review. Each day you can talk with your children about part of what you have learned together during corporate worship. This method gives you a handy outline to start with and will help reinforce what was taught from the pulpit. All you need is a little note taking during Sunday worship and choosing several main themes on which to concentrate (see an example here).
  4. Topical study. The catechism is topical, but here I mean something else. Sometimes we may come across a certain theological concept we want to teach our children. Other times there is a certain behavior that crops up in our home. This kind of family worship takes time to address these issues over a span of a week or two.

I’m sure you can come up with more ways to lead your family in worship, but these four can help you get started with family worship. Don’t neglect your responsibility. Adjust what you are saying to the age of your children. Without your leadership in family worship, your children will only think of God’s word on Sunday, and that is simply not enough.

Bible, Children, Family Worship, Man, Parenting

What Should I Do in Family Worship?

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Amazing Grace

Last post we talked about personal and family worship as essential to the health of the family. Though we recognize the significance of family worship, sometimes the “how” of implementing this joyful duty is less clear. Below are some thoughts on what to include as we lead our families in worship.

Pray Together. Children learn how to pray from their parents. If they never hear us pray for anything other than the meal, how will they develop in prayer? For our children who are just learning to pray, we can supply some basic guidelines for their prayers. In our home, a staple for our youngest prayers is asking God to forgive their sin and thanking him for taking care of them. As children grow in maturity, they quickly learn to verbalize their own thoughts. Since these thoughts have various degrees of purity and faithfulness to God’s will, we should take time to instruct our children in prayer. Fortunately the Bible supplies the model in the Lord’s Prayer. Not only should we teach them to memorize the prayer, but also instruct them as to what the six petitions mean. Westminster Shorter Catechism numbers 100-107 provide great help to us.

Study Together. As basic as this truth may seem in a post on Family Worship it still must be said. Parents are to set the words and commands of God before our children (Cf. Deut. 6:6-7). We cannot fulfill this parental responsibility when the book in which the words are found is never opened. The next question in your mind might be: “But what should I study from God’s word?” I have some thoughts on that question, but it will wait until the next post. For now let us recognize that we must study the Bible with our children if we expect them to know it.

Sing Together. Even though there is a healthy range in musical ability across families, psalms and hymns should be sung in our homes. For some this task is easy due of the musical gifts the Lord has given. For others, this part of family worship is more difficult. In extreme cases, mp3s and CDs can provide the necessary scaffolding to be able to sing together. However, for the most part, we should pick up our favorite psalter and hymnal and worship God in song together, even if it is only a joyful noise. Even 3 year-olds can easily learn psalms and hymns. Once known, they will have the opportunity to participate in the church’s worship when those songs are selected by the pastor. As our children mature we can teach them to sing parts and have them accompany our singing with different instruments, all to the praise and glory of God.

Family worship can be a tremendous spiritual catalyst. As the Holy Spirit gives fruit, our children will learn how to pray, participate in congregational worship, and hear the very promises and commands of God. Do not deprive your children of that opportunity.