Category Archives: 10 Commandments

10 Commandments, Children, Man, Parenting

How to Frustrate Your Children

Leave a comment

Honor your father and mother

I am guessing many first-time parents get their highlighters out when their little angel reaches 1 year old and furiously begin underlining Exodus 20:12: “Honor your father and your mother…” It becomes their “life verse.” This enthusiasm usually springs from a recognition of the universal defiance streak that is in all our children. However, the fifth commandment actually has implications for the parent as well.

More than just dealing with children, the fifth commandment also covers our obligation toward our children. “The fifth commandment requireth the preserving the honor, and performing the duties, belonging to everyone in their several places and relations, as superiors, inferiors, or equals.” (Westminster Shorter Catechism Q/A 64). The 17th century divines teach us that children have duties toward parents, but parents have duties to their children as well.

One of the places our biblical duties are summarized is in Colossians 3:21. There God commands us not to provoke our children lest they become discouraged. To clarify, this passages does not teach our children’s happiness as the gauge for successful, biblical parenting. For example, our children may become discouraged when we prohibit them from kicking their siblings in the shins. They may be frustrated when we restrict their forms of entertainment. Discouragement alone does not invalidate our instruction, but discouragement flowing from provocation does. So how do we discourage our children?

  1. By failing to teach them from God’s word. Our convictions are not as stable as we might think. Consider how much your views have changed in the last ten years. When we make our thoughts the foundation for instruction, children will become discouraged because they are aiming for a moving target. We should instruct our children in God’s unchangeable commandments and in principles we derive from them.
  2. By treating them as if they were the center of the universe. When our children are young we form how they view the world. If we teach them to consider themselves the center, we inadvertently train them to make their happiness their primary goal. However, Scripture tells us that “whoever does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me.” (Matt. 10:38). The principle of self-denial is central to the Scriptures, not self-satisfaction. We will discourage them if they are used to considering self first, rather than Christ.
  3. By failing to love them as we have been loved by Christ. Parental instruction must flow from a heart of love. If we constantly treat our children as if they are an inconvenience, whatever may have been helpful in our instruction will surely be lost. View your parental responsibilities along the lines of Deut. 6:6-7: “And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you like dow, and when you rise.”
10 Commandments, Children, Man, Parenting, Sanctification

The Sabbath and My Family

Leave a comment

bell tower

When I moved to Canada in 1985, all the shopping centers were still closed on Sunday. I don’t think anyone had the faintest idea why, but they were closed nonetheless. Now, in the church, we have the same situation. We commend Chick Fill-A for being closed on Sunday, but at the same time we’re a bit disappointed because now we have to spend more by going to Appleby’s for our Sunday lunch. We have lost our understanding of the significance of Sunday as the Christian Sabbath. You, parents, are the ones who must be about making Sunday the Lord’s Day again.

The point of this post is not to address the issue of the theology of the Sabbath. Other people have done a very good job at it. Iain Campbell, Walter Chantry, Ryan McGraw, Joseph Pipa and others have made a thorough biblical case for the continuing application of the 4th commandment for the Christian. What I want to do is think through the “why” and “how” of teaching our children about the Christian Sabbath.

First, “Why?” If I was to boil down the significance of the Lord’s Day to one idea it is this: God has given us Sunday to continually re-orient us in the use of our time. Christian worship can easily become one of our weekly activities. We work, watch football, do homework, visit friends, and we also manage to fit in church. God knows the weakness of our frame and gives us one day in seven where everything stops. We have to get everything else in our week done in six days because we know that on the seventh, we don’t work, neither do we cause anyone else to work. It is God’s tithe on our time: all the time we have belongs to God and we should use it to glorify him. It is a gift from God reminding us we are blessed when our hope is in him (Ps. 146:5).

Second, “How?” There are two ways we mock the Lord’s Day. First, by not giving it any thought, and second by turning it into a checklist. The way to avoid these extremes is by setting some foundational truths before our children about the Lord’s Day:

  1. God made the Sabbath as part of his creation, before sin even entered the world (Gen. 2:3). That means we are all to obey this commandment
  2. On Sunday, we are not to work, neither should we cause others to work. If we need to make changes in our families to conform to this commandment, make sure we can show our children they are required by God, not you.
  3. Obedience to the Sabbath demonstrates we trust God will take care of us. We are to seek first His kingdom and His righteousness and all other things will be given to us.
  4. There are exceptions to the Sabbath commandment to rest in the works of necessity and mercy.
10 Commandments, Children, Man, Parenting, Sanctification

Do I Blaspheme in my Home?

1 Comment

no profanity

Can you imagine letting fly a string of expletives and blasphemy in front of your children? I hope not. Yet often we do take God’s name in vain in front of our children.

Too often we think God’s commandment, “You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain,” deals only with spoken blasphemy. However, Ezekiel shows us a broader application. God charges the prophet to confront Israel with their disobedience: idolatry, Sabbath breaking, and a disregarded of God’s law. God views these transgressions as follows: “Thus says the Lord GOD: In this also your fathers blasphemed me, by dealing treacherously with me.” (Ezekiel 20:27, ESV). It is in what they do that they take God’s name in vain. Likewise 1 Timothy 6:1 urges Christians who are enslaved to honor their masters so God’s name would not be “reviled.”

So how can our children’s actions take God’s name in vain? By misrepresenting, or dishonoring, Christ in thought, word, and deed. We are to teach and lead our children in a joyful, thankful, humble response to God’s redeeming work. Since we are called to imitate Christ (Eph. 5:1-2), certain behaviors become unacceptable in Christian families. Below we find only three that will have to serve as a sample set.

  1. Unkind Words. Our children will use unkind words. But do we correct them when they do so? Paul commands us to put on kindness as part of the process of sanctification (Col. 3:12). When a man identifies himself with Christ, he is to be kind. How often is God’s name maligned in Christian homes through the use of unkind speech?
  2. Selfishness. How long did you have to wait before your little angel uttered the word “Mine!” with fire in his eyes? We may chuckle at their intensity, but in fact our little ones are behaving selfishly. However, God is not selfish. He is gracious, kind, and provides us with all we need both for body (1 Tim 6:17-18) and soul. Teach your children to be generous, and willing to share.
  3. Raising Voice in Anger. In Colossians 3:8, we find wrath and anger among the sins to be put to death. Yet we often express these emotions in the tone of our voice. We address this sin by seeking forgiveness, not by excusing it. As we turn in repentance, through the Holy Spirit’s power, we must seek after contentment and peace, also applying God’s standards of behavior to our children.

As a result of our being redeemed and serving as ambassadors of Christ, to live contrary to his instruction and attributes is to take his name in vain. We and our children will make sinful choices in our lives and by doing so will blaspheme him. However, we must learn to recognize these sins so we can lead our families in repentance and give full honor and glory to the God who made us, redeemed us, and sustains us.