Tag Archives: covetousness

Cultivating My Child’s Covetous Heart

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“A man is given to covetousness when he overloads himself with worldly business…(H)e has scarce time to eat his meat, but no time to pray.” (Thomas Watson, The Ten Commandments, 176)

Last article we saw how a covetous spirit is evidenced in us when we begin to neglect the spiritual aspect of living in pursuit of the common, or worldly. When we begin neglecting our private or corporate worship these are clear signs that we are longing more for the things of this world than for fellowship with God. But we are not only responsible for our own covetous desires. We also bear some responsibility to those who live around us. In no relationship is that responsibility more obvious than between parents and children. And yet, however well-intentioned we may be, there are ways we, as parents, contribute to a spirit of covetousness in our children.

  1. Failure to teach contentment. It is difficult to teach contentment in our western culture. Our children are constantly being bombarded with commercials and catalogues which encourage them to want just a little bit more than they already have. From our children’s perspective, every commercial and catalogue will present them with something they “need” rather than just “want.” 1 Tim. 6:6-10 clearly teaches a love for the riches of this world is destructive. The apostle’s list of needs is quite small: food and clothing. We have to teach this truth to our children and show them how grateful we are for what God has already provided. We can do so by speaking about how the Lord has blessed us beyond measure. This action may seem insignificant, but it will make a big impact.
  2. Failure to teach our children to love the heavenly things. So much of what we model to our children is caught rather than taught. We can constantly tell our children they need to set their eyes on the things above, but unless our actions corroborate this teaching, our children will learn to ignore our words and look simply to our actions. We have to model being heavenly minded in our work and play. We have to lead our children in faithfully study and practice of God’s word. We have to lead our children to value the Lord more than anything else including the fleeting riches of this world.
  3. Failure to restrain the lusts of their flesh. When we give our children unbridled access to their heart’s desire, we are training them to direct all their energy to the pursuit of those things. It could be sports, arts, play time, book learning, or anything else. As parents it is our God-given responsibility to set limits for our children. If our children are always allowed to pursue their own desires, this pattern of behavior will follow them into adulthood. If we insist our children participate in the work of running the family, cheer for their siblings’ successes, do special things for their mother on Mothers’ Day and a host of other options, they will understand they are not the center of the universe, a helpful disposition to encourage contentment rather than covetousness.

Covetousness is one of the great sins of our time. And it will show up in our hearts and our children’s hearts. However we do not have to encourage them in this regard. Instead let us set them a healthy example which they can follow as their little hearts are shaped and molded by the Holy Spirit.

Cultivating My Covetous Heart

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“A man is given to covetousness when he overloads himself with worldly business…(H)e has scarce time to eat his meat, but no time to pray.” (Thomas Watson, The Ten Commandments, 176)

Ouch! Thomas Watson sure knows how to make it hurt! But just because it hurts doesn’t mean it is not worth considering. Watson’s statement is one that could be applied to all of us on some days. We are all covetous by nature. Like book-ends in God’s Moral Law, both the 1st and 10th commandments confront us with our motivations and loves. Because of their nature, these two commandments summarize our disobedience to the other eight. When we take the name of the Lord in vain we elevate our own desires over the Lord’s thereby setting other gods before him. Or when we steal, the seed form has already long been growing within us: covetousness. We covet when we want something we do not have. So, are you covetous? Are you leading your children toward covetousness?

In this article we will deal with our hearts. In the quote above, Watson makes a distinction between a man’s valuation of his appetites versus his fellowship with God in prayer. It is a sobering assessment, to be sure. I am not seeking to quibble about the kinds of work does and their corresponding demands. I think the Christian street sweeper is as engaged in glorifying God as a pastor and I know this work can be demanding. My questions are designed instead to help us see if we are drifting into sin in our pursuit of our worldly work. We are prone to covet the world’s power, wealth, popularity and success. Certain decisions will reveal our heart’s desire to have taken on a sinful, covetous turn.

The first and tenth commandments remind us we may worship no other gods and should be content with what God has given. So when we find ourselves neglecting God in prayer, we have forgotten these commandments. I cannot give definitive answer on the “when” and “how much” of our private worship, but I can definitively say we should. If only we would apply the same level of intensity to our pursuit of God as we apply to our attempts to win a promotion or raise at work. This very issue is on Watson’s mind when he describes the man who does not consider any amount of hours spent satisfying his appetites to be enough, but does not even begin praying. This inconsistency shows there is a war of loves being waged in our hearts and the good side is losing. We direct our most intense efforts toward that which means the most to us. What will we love more? The flesh or our Lord?

Overloading ourselves with worldly business can also be recognized when we miss corporate worship to take care of our regular employment. God commands one day in seven be given him for the activities relating to his worship. Absenting ourselves from corporate worship should flash a huge red flag in our minds. This decision indicates we want the world’s recognition so badly, we are willing to take from God’s time and apply it to our businesses or jobs so we might gain it. When we begin to make these kinds of choices we are demonstrating a priority: we want the things God has not given us and will pursue them at all costs.

Certainly we must repent of our own covetousness, but we also should guard ourselves against teaching our children to do the same. More on that next time.

Give Me What I Want: Covetousness

Do Not Covet

The 10th commandment concludes God’s instructions through the Decalogue on how we can properly express our love to God. This commandment does not deal with action so much as it does with attitude, making it stand out from the previous eight ordinances God gave Moses. You do not “do” covetousness in the same way you steal or commit adultery. It is simply present in your motivations and emotions.

Covetousness is seen in many of the accounts of Scripture. Achan coveted the things from Jericho devoted to God. David coveted Bathsheba. Absalom coveted the throne of his father David. Although the objects these three men covet are different, there is one common thread tying these examples together: dissatisfaction. Those who covet are unhappy with that which God, in his goodness, has given to them. They are struggling with contentment.

Jeremiah Burroughs defines contentment as follows: “Contentment is the inward, quiet, gracious frame of spirit, freely submitting to and taking pleasure in God’s disposal in every condition.”(1) According to Burroughs, contentment is not a grudging submission to God, but actually taking pleasure in our God-given circumstances. Contentment is learning to delight in all God has planned for us. If you want to pass that lesson on to your children, be assured that giving them everything they want will not help. So what are some ways we can help our children learn contentment?

  1. Teach your children to love God. Many of us have an exaggerated sense of “needs” versus something we would like to have. Needs are actually a fairly small category: food and clothing (1 Tim. 6:8). For the Christian, God is the central desire. When God, through Christ, occupies such an exalted place, toys, free time, hobbies and recreations should not cause us to grumble against our creator.
  2. Encourage your children to rejoice at a sibling’s success. Our children do not need to be the object of everyone’s praise and attention. Let them learn to cheer on siblings at their soccer games and take interest in their piano recital. Help them recognize when brother or sister needs a hug. Encourage them to be happy to participate in someone else’s chosen game.
  3. Teach your children to serve. From a very early age, children can learn to be part of the family. This lesson can easily be learned through participation in family chores. Even little children can learn to bring their plastic plate to the counter after lunch is over. Sincere service is a good instructor toward contentment.

Each of us face difficult circumstances, from a human perspective. However, we are the people of God and are to serve him alone. Nothing else should supplant him as the object of our desires. Yet often by allowing discontentment in our families, we are teaching our children to place their own desires before things God has determined for our good. Do not covet.

(1) Jeremiah Burroughs, The Rare Jewel of Christian Contentment, (The Banner of Truth Trust, Versa Press Inc.: East Peoria, IL, 1964). 40.