Everyone in the world has one foundational relationship: the relationship with his parents. Only Adam and Eve did not have parents. The rest of us, for better or worse, have them. I want to consider this relationship from the perspective of the parents today.
The parental perspective of this relationship will be different from the child’s based on the role God has designed for them. Our function in any relationship is always governed by our role. For example, when you work for someone you understand your boss sets the rules and you follow. In parenting we are simply trying to define the role of the parent in the parent-child relationship.
One of the key passages in understanding the parental role can be found in Deuteronomy 6:6-9. In this passage we see parenting is not the passing on of intellectual concepts, but rather training our children in knowing how to live in a way that honors God. This idea is also at the heart of Paul’s instruction to parents in Ephesians 6:4: bring up our children in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. Another way to say is that the instruction found in the commandments of the Bible is what disciples our children. Our job is to pass them on.
The question I want to ask is, “What are some of the ways we fail in our biblical role as parents?”
- By not praying for our children. If we think we will, by our best efforts, be able to parent our children, we are greatly mistaken. Instead we are dependent entirely on God and should acknowledge that by prayer.
- By not doing ourselves what we would require of our children. “Do as I say and not as I do.” is never a good parenting philosophy. Your actions place a value on your instruction.
- By being inconsistent in our requirements. If we parent based on our mood, we will be inconsistent. We require respect toward mom & dad, but not toward siblings. There must be an objective standard for parent and child: the Bible.
- By not insisting that our children follow our leadership. Do not let your children turn biblical roles in the parent-child relationship upside down by making them autonomous before they are ready. Insist they follow you. They may be cute, you may have to teach them (many times), and you may have to stop what you are doing to address and/or correct them, but lead them, do not follow them.
- By not planning ahead in our parenting. I used to think parenting was just a day-to-day reaction to circumstances. 21 years, and 10 children later, I can tell you: I’ve never been more wrong. Your job is to train your children in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. It needs a plan.
One time my wife and I gave our oldest daughter a doll house. She had waited for what must have seemed like an eternity. Finally on her third birthday we gave her the doll house as a gift. When she took off her blindfold and saw the gift set up on the table for her all she could do is jump for joy, shout “thank yous”, and hug and kiss her mom and me. We could tell it was a precious gift for her.
Transitioning now to the spiritual realm, our response is not often the same when it comes to the gift of eternal life. We know from the Bible the God is the maker of all things. He made all things visible, invisible, spiritual, or material. Everything we see around us is obligated to him. The bad news is that we also know from the Bible that we sin against God every day. Our thoughts, words, and deeds are not faithful to him, neither can they be because of our sinful nature. This condition places us in a position of great guilt before him. Only when we realize the truth both of who God is and who we are will we realize the greatness of his gift to us. If we do not think much of the greatness of God, we will not realize his gracious condescension. If we are not aware of the depth of our sin, we will not grasp our desperate need of salvation. Without this understanding the Bible will be just another fantastical fairy-tale, or some opium for the masses.
However, the Bible is good news for those who receive God’s promises by faith. In fact, the news is so good, our response should be 10,000 times that of my daughter when she received her doll-house. If someone gave you one million dollars, you would do more than buy a canned Hallmark card and no one would have to tell you to do so. Yet we Christians often respond with apathy and indifference toward the things of God. It seems we have missed the preciousness of God’s gift to us.
Spend some time in Genesis 1-3, meditate on the significance of what is recorded there and go out and live with joyful enthusiasm for the God who made you, redeemed you and sustains you.
Every time I drive from Augusta to Waynesboro I pass a sign. In big, bold letters it proclaims: “God is not angry with you, no matter what.” That may sound fantastic, but it is not biblical. After God made Adam he commanded him not to eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. (Gen. 2:16-17, ESV). Of course, we know Adam & Eve did eat of this forbidden fruit. Their rebellion against God immediately changed them.
The next time we see Adam & Eve they are hiding in the garden because they hear God approaching. They know their relationship with God has been severed. They know they are deserving of God’s judgment and it won’t be pretty. Of course, judgment is not a popular idea in our day. However unpopularity has never negated truth. The Bible tells us Adam sinned and we all sinned in him (Rom. 5:12). That means God’s wrath rests on us because of our ungodliness and unrighteousness (Rom. 1:18). So it seems we are in a heap of trouble.
A healthy understanding of God’s wrath against our sin teaches us about our condition as people. We are in desperate need of someone to save us. However, if we do not reflect on God’s wrath against sin, why would we want to change anything? Let me illustrate. Recently, I began hearing a rattling sound from the front left side of my car. I just ignored it because the workings of the automobile are a mystery to me. However, I gave one of my fellow elders a ride one day and he pointed out that I had a broken strut. He told me I needed to get it fixed. Without him showing me the condition of my car, I would have happily put up with a little bit of road noise. The same is true when it comes to our need for salvation. God tells us of our sin and guilt so we would know we are in need of salvation. He tells us so we might flee to the cross of Christ.
God hates sin. He is wrathful toward it. We would do well not to minimize the Bible’s teaching on this subject but use it make us see we need to turn us to Christ or face God’s judgment.